Parenting After Separation in Ontario: Your Questions Answered
If you are separating in Ontario and have children, you likely have a lot of questions and a lot of anxiety about what comes next. Words like "custody" and "access" have been replaced in Ontario law, new terms apply, and the process for reaching a parenting arrangement can feel overwhelming.
This post answers the most common questions separating parents have about decision-making responsibility, parenting time, and how Ontario courts decide what is best for your children.
What Happened to "Custody" and "Access" in Ontario?
If you have been searching online, you may have noticed that the terms "custody" and "access" are still widely used — but they are no longer the legal terms in Ontario.
In March 2021, the federal Divorce Act was amended to replace these terms with decision-making responsibility and parenting time. Ontario's Children's Law Reform Act followed. The change was intentional: the old language implied that one parent "won" and one parent "lost," which often made conflict worse and kept the focus on the parents rather than the children.
The new language reflects what family law in Ontario is actually about — the ongoing relationship between a child and both parents, and the practical arrangements that support it.
What Is Decision-Making Responsibility?
Decision-making responsibility is the authority to make significant choices about a child's life. This includes decisions about:
Education — which school the child attends, what programs they enroll in, decisions about special education needs
Health and medical care — consent to medical treatment, choice of doctors, mental health care
Religious and cultural upbringing — faith-based practices, cultural traditions, language
Extracurricular activities — sports, arts, community involvement
Decision-making responsibility can be structured in different ways depending on what works best for the family.
Sole decision-making responsibility means one parent has the authority to make major decisions for the child without needing the other parent's agreement. This does not mean the other parent is excluded from the child's life — it is about decision-making authority, not parenting time.
Joint decision-making responsibility means both parents share the authority to make major decisions together. This requires a reasonable level of cooperation and communication. It does not automatically mean equal parenting time.
Divided decision-making responsibility is less common and means each parent has sole responsibility over specific areas — for example, one parent makes educational decisions while the other makes medical decisions.
What is parenting time?
Parenting time refers to the time a child spends with each parent. It replaces the old term "access."
Parenting time arrangements vary widely depending on the age of the children, the parents' work schedules, where each parent lives, and the specific needs of the family. Common arrangements include:
Week on, week off — the child alternates weekly between each parent's home
2-2-3 rotation — the child spends two days with one parent, two days with the other, then three days with the first, rotating each week
Primary residence with scheduled time — the child lives primarily with one parent and has regular scheduled time with the other, such as alternating weekends and one weeknight
Flexible arrangements — some families agree on a general framework and adjust week to week based on schedules and the child's needs
There is no one-size-fits-all arrangement. What works for a toddler may not work for a teenager. Parenting plans should be specific enough to avoid confusion but flexible enough to accommodate real life.
What Is the Best Interests of the Child?
The best interests of the child is the legal standard that guides every parenting decision in Ontario — whether reached by agreement between the parents or ordered by a court.
This means that what either parent wants comes second. The question is always: what arrangement best supports this child's physical, emotional, and developmental wellbeing?
Ontario courts consider a broad range of factors when assessing the best interests of the child, including:
The child's physical, emotional, and psychological needs
The nature and strength of the child's relationship with each parent and with siblings
Each parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent
The history of care — who has been the primary caregiver
The child's cultural, linguistic, religious, and spiritual upbringing
Any family violence or abuse, and the impact on the child
The child's own views and preferences, given their age and maturity
Each parent's ability to communicate and cooperate with the other
This is not a checklist — courts weigh all relevant factors together. No single factor automatically determines the outcome.
Can My Child Decide Which Parent to Live With?
This is one of the most common questions separating parents ask.
Ontario law does not set a specific age at which a child can choose where they live. However, as a child gets older and more mature, their views carry increasing weight in any decision — whether made by agreement or by a court.
In practice, the views of teenagers are taken seriously. A 16-year-old's strong preference is difficult for a court to ignore. A 7-year-old's preference is considered but carries less legal weight because a young child may not fully understand the implications of their choice.
Importantly, Ontario courts are alert to situations where a child's stated preference has been influenced by one parent coaching or pressuring the child. Courts assess whether the preference is genuine and independent.
If the child's views are relevant, a court may appoint the Office of the Children's Lawyer (OCL) to represent the child's interests directly.
Does Joint Decision-Making Mean Equal Parenting Time?
No. These are two separate issues.
Joint decision-making responsibility means both parents share authority over major decisions. It says nothing about how much time the child spends with each parent.
It is entirely possible to have joint decision-making responsibility with a primary residence arrangement where the child lives mainly with one parent. It is equally possible to have equal parenting time but one parent having sole decision-making responsibility.
The two questions, who decides and where does the child live, are negotiated and resolved separately.
What Is a Parenting Plan?
A parenting plan is a written agreement between separated parents that sets out the arrangements for their children. It is usually incorporated into a separation agreement.
A good parenting plan addresses:
The regular parenting schedule, including weekdays and weekends
Holidays, school breaks, and special occasions such as birthdays and Mother's and Father's Day
How and when parents will communicate with the child when the child is with the other parent
How parents will communicate with each other about the child
What happens when a scheduled exchange needs to change
Decision-making authority and how disputes will be resolved
Travel — including consent requirements for out-of-province or international travel
What happens if one parent wants to relocate
The more specific and detailed the parenting plan, the less room there is for conflict later. Vague agreements lead to disputes. Clear agreements support stability for the children.
What If Parents Cannot Agree on Parenting Arrangements?
If parents cannot reach an agreement on their own, there are several options before going to court.
Negotiation through lawyers — each parent retains their own family lawyer, and the lawyers negotiate a parenting arrangement on their behalf. This is often faster and less expensive than court.
Mediation — a neutral third party, the mediator, helps parents work through their disagreement and reach a mutually acceptable arrangement. Mediators do not make decisions — they facilitate the conversation.
Collaborative family law — both parents and their lawyers commit to resolving all issues outside of court through a series of structured meetings.
Court — if agreement cannot be reached through any other means, either parent can make a court application. A judge will apply the best interests of the child standard and make binding orders about decision-making responsibility and parenting time.
Court should generally be a last resort. It is expensive, time-consuming, and emotionally draining — particularly for children, who are often caught in the middle.
What About Family Violence?
Ontario courts take family violence very seriously in parenting matters.
Where there is a history of domestic violence, abuse, or coercive control, the court will carefully consider the impact on the child and on the victim parent's ability to exercise their parenting responsibilities. A history of violence is a significant factor in the best interests analysis.
In urgent situations, a parent can seek an emergency order from the court for the immediate protection of the child.
If you are in a situation involving family violence, it is important to speak with a lawyer as early as possible.
Do I Need a Lawyer to Make a Parenting Arrangement?
You are not legally required to have a lawyer. However, parenting arrangements made without legal advice — particularly those incorporated into a separation agreement — can have long-term consequences that are difficult to undo.
A family lawyer can help you understand your rights and obligations, identify issues you may not have considered, negotiate on your behalf, and draft a parenting plan that is clear, enforceable, and in your children's best interests.
At Chronicle Law, we work with separating parents across Mississauga, Toronto, and the Greater Toronto Area to reach practical parenting arrangements — whether through negotiation, mediation, or court when necessary. We understand that every family is different, and we bring cultural awareness and sensitivity to every client relationship.
If you have questions about parenting arrangements, decision-making responsibility, or any aspect of Ontario family law, we offer a free 15-minute consultation. Contact us at info@chroniclelaw.com or call (289) 270-9996.
